"Apparently more and more young women are getting into debt because they try to shop and party like a footballer's wife. If I heard of anyone doing that I'd tell them to get a grip."

Source: Fine, fine, but it's footballer's fiancee Coleen McLoughlin...? Channel 4 News

"Janet [Jackson] said that she had since forgiven Michael for his taunts, which she claimed were probably the result of 'issues' he had with his own body"

Source: Oh how things come back to haunt you, Monsters and Critics

"I thought we were going crazy the first time I saw it. I looked at it and said, 'It can't be.' But then I looked again. I mean, you can't deny it"

Source: Virgin Mary on a turtle, in case you were wondering, Orange

"Electronic spy 'bugs' have been secretly planted in hundreds of thousands of household wheelie bins"

Source: Daily Mail

"The Guardian contacted several men's clothing retailers and all were reluctant to comment on the increasing girth of their customers."

Source: The Guardian

"[President Bush] 'loves flatulence jokes . . . can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides'"

Source: Oh lovely, Boston Herald

"One controversial segment is called Rolf's Blasphemous Cartoon Time, featuring Rolf Harris drawing cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad and Buddha"

Source: It upsets me when respected figures like Rolf Harris are treated like this... Times Online

"Last month iSoft said its business had 'evolved' and it had become 'more appropriate' to revise the way the company recognised its revenues... Operating profit for last year of £72m became zero"

Source: MediaGuardian

"David Beckham 'is a portrait of modern masculinity' and his signature scent is a combination of bergamot and cardamom, mixed with grapefruit for a 'woody-spicy accord.'"

Source: E! Online

"Information collected... may include your name, e-mail address, phone number, mobile number, home address, birth date and credit card information. In addition..."

Source: And so it continues, EA 'Privacy Policy'

"A Philippines judge who said he consulted imaginary mystic dwarves has failed to convince the Supreme Court to allow him to keep his job."

Source: Sometimes these just write themselves, BBC News

"'I love it. It's fantastic because you have up to five years of faeces in your colon,' she enthused."

Source: Digital Spy

"Most employees had no PCs. They relied instead on shared computers for access to the Internet and e-mail. A type of memo called an electronic communication had to be printed out on paper and signed by a supervisor before it was sent.

Source: This is... the FBI. Scary. Washington Post

"The planetarium will likely have to add three new planets. 'They're pretty small,' said astronomy director Geza Gyuk of the proposed new planets. 'Maybe we can bring in a pingpong ball and that'll do the trick.' "

Source: Forbes

"He added: 'Nature is much richer than our imagination. Life is tough. Life is complicated. Get over it.'

Source: CNET News

"I used Google to check out that guy I met at the party' is fine, but 'I googled that hottie' is not."

Source: iTnews

"After being studied by an English Language and Linguistics professor, it was found 'wot' was spelt in a manner unusual to Danielle"

Source: Life Style Extra

"students are making a rational decision when they decide against studying physics at higher levels"

Source: Mm this quote speaks to me having done AS Physics! commentisfree, The Guardian

"Brit then asks Kev whether he thinks the film Back to the Future is real and asks him 'Is that possible, to time travel back in space?' When Kevin says no, she states 'yes it is Kevin!'"

Source: Erm... strange Britney Spears tape, ITV News

"A Labour MP apologised on Friday for saying that 'inbreeding' may have contributed to a rise in diabetes among children in his Norfolk constituency."

Source: Reuters

"Conservative Home has learnt that the Conservative Party is likely to choose a tree image as its new logo"

Source: This is worth seeing, just for amusement, Conservative Home

"Ellen Burstyn was shortlisted for an Emmy for a role consisting of two lines totalling 38 words in a flashback scene"

Source: The Herald

"Cruise's 13-year contract with Paramount recently lapsed, and insiders now say the star will have to undergo a 'financial adjustment and reality check'"

Source: I think he needs a reality kick... Digital Spy

"Mr Blair reported called Mr Straw a 'tart' after the foreign secretary rang him excitedly to inform him that the French had rejected the EU constitution"

Source: Comment is Free, The Guardian

"scar"

Source: The 'final word in the seventh and final Harry Potter novel', China Daily

"astronomers are planning to build a huge optical telescope to scan for Earth-like planets, and have worked out it needs a mirror diameter of 42 metres"

Source: Forty Two! That's just cool, The Independent

"Sorry 2 do this by text... we will not require your services any more... thank you for your time with us"

Source: Being fired via text message , icWales

"Teachers should stop calling bright pupils 'clever' for fear they might not be considered 'cool' by classmates"

Source: No no no no no! Grrr... I hate it when they come out with this stuff, BBC News

"Not only do the [Scottish] Executive believe St Andrew's Day falls on the 31st November, but they have chosen a day that does not even exist in the calendar"

Source: Scotsman

"a survey revealed that the £41,550 cost of being a candidate was favouring the wealthy"

Source: No, really?! The Guardian

"You enter this world with nothing - but you should leave it with debt - that way you actually technically make a profit"

Source: GG, RV Blog

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