"The survey also produced the surprising revelation that more heterosexual men would choose to sleep with David Beckham than with his wife Victoria"

Source: The Sun

"Michael Jackson is going to charge his fans £1,700 each to spend 30 seconds with him in Japan"

Source: No discounts for children? Digital Spy

"Socialite Calum Best has said only being left a watch in his father's will was probably George's idea of a joke"

Source: Entertainment Wise

"the drunken man climbed onto the roof of the single story cottage and slid down the chimney to gain access. He got stuck in the fireplace chimney, with his arms above his head, in freezing conditions for about five hours"

Source: Parry Sound

"One allegation is that one of Mrs Benjamin's sons grew cannabis in his bedroom and it could be smelled by council officials. But she insisted the odour was that of her son's feet"

Source: The Guardian

"Next to the yellow foam was a rucksack which contained a toothbrush, aftershave, deodorant, two shirts and a DVD of comedy film, Meet the Fockers"

Source: Inside the bag of the Tube bomber suspect, BBC News

"definitely not a racist... she's a well-mannered girl from a decent family"

Source: The mother of the girl on Channel 4 who is 'for slavery', The Mirror

"Tom [Cruise] has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Just like Christ, he has been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right, just like Jesus"

Source: Monsters and Critics

"Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas"

Source: Ananova

"Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate Limited Numbered Signature Edition"

Source: Any takers? Engadget

"Firefighters have been banned from using other people's stepladders when fitting smoke alarms because of health and safety concerns"

Source: This Is London

"I do not approve of the words that came out of my mouth"

Source: Big Brother's Jade, The Guardian

"Well of course Scotland will do well, but let's see how it all works out."

Source: Gordon Brown sounding extremely sincere about football, as usual, Scotsman

"She challenges me intellectually... Our relationship is not based on lust; it's primarily a relationship of intellect, a meeting of minds, and that I find really interesting and attractive"

Source: Lembit Opik on 'Cheeky Girl' Gabriela Irimia. Really. Independent

"Beginning in February, the University of Sioux Falls (South Dakota) will offer a one-credit dating course called 'Finding Dates Worth Keeping.'"

Source: CNN

"The letter "X" soon may be banned in Saudi Arabia because it resembles the mother of all banned religious symbols in the oil kingdom: the cross"

Source: New York Sun

"A 17-year-old US student who enjoys re-enacting medieval battles has been banned from wielding his favourite sword in his graduation yearbook... In response, the family is suing the school for restricting free speech"

Source: BBC News

"You can take the piss out of me, fair enough, but if someone took the piss out of my wife when I was in a pub I'd fucking hit them, and I didn't want to hit someone on telly"

Source: Preston, explaining his storming off set, NME.COM

"At some level, women 'know' when they are most fertile. And we have seen some evidence that men may at some level 'know' too - although with less certainty"

Source: Erm... this is news? And not just stating the obvious? Daily Mail

"Among other predictions for the U.S. in 2007... 25 percent anticipate the second coming of Jesus Christ"

Source: Yahoo News

"The mother of the Cheeky Girls has described her daughter's love affair with MP Lembit Opik as 'like a growing mushroom - it can only get bigger'"

Source: The Argus

"There was no indication that the air was unsafe, though, and no indication of terrorism, city and federal officials said. 'It may just be an unpleasant smell,' Mayor Michael Bloomberg said"

Source: Mm... a deadly terror smell perhaps? MSNBC

"the average Brit will say sorry a staggering 1.9 million times in his or her lifetime"

Source: BBC News

"If I was a teacher I would start with a chunk from Doctor Who and Billie Piper "

Source: Malcolm Wicks, Telegraph

"A 17-year-old boy in northeastern China was so disappointed with the looks of a woman he met over the Internet that he hanged himself after seeing her face-to-face"

Source: Inquirer.net

"Fourteen percent of those surveyed said they had had sex with a member of their own family"

Source: Well the headline is 'Most Indian men want virgin brides', Reuters AlertNet

"Another early candidate for Parent of the Year 2007 emerges in Germany, in the form of the unemployed man who sold his step-daughter's pet dog so he could drink beer"

Source: Metro

"Most of the killing going on in the world today is being done — or caused to be done — by people who believe in a supreme being. Can you imagine what would be capable of if they did not believe?"

Source: Ronald Spooner, PAnews.com from Daylight Atheism's 'Not Getting The Point Award'

"And therein lies the threat of cyberspace at its most elementary: when a man and a woman interact in it, they may be haunted by the spectre of a frog embracing a bottle of beer"

Source: Slavoj Zizek, MediaGuardian

"Britons are incapable of emulating the European drinking culture because they 'enjoy getting drunk'"

Source: Hazel Blears, BBC News

"Happy New Year!"

Source: Quote of the Day, 1st January 2007

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